26-0503a - Detailed Summary

Preacher Steve introduced the topic of family leadership, noting that the Ephesians 5 passage describes how God ideally structures the family. He emphasized the importance of the warning against being unequally yoked. He explained that being unequally yoked basically means being married to a person who does not hold the same values as you do. From a spiritual standpoint, this especially concerns shared beliefs and convictions.

Steve shared how his own parents impressed upon him the importance of being careful about whom he dated and seriously considered for marriage. They specifically did not want him marrying outside of his faith. He grew up in a predominantly German Lutheran and Catholic community and understood that those faiths do not align with the faith established by Jesus in His church. God desires that members of His church be yoked to individuals who hold the same values.

Steve directed the audience to Deuteronomy chapter 7 to understand why God prohibits marrying outside the faith. He read from verse 1 onward, instructing the Israelites to destroy the nations completely, make no treaty with them, show no mercy, and not intermarry with them by giving daughters to their sons or taking their daughters for sons. The reason given is that they would turn the children away from following the Lord to serve other gods, provoking the Lord’s anger and leading to destruction. The people were commanded to break down altars, smash sacred stones, cut down Asherah poles, and burn idols. God reminded them they are a holy people, chosen as His treasured possession out of all peoples on earth.

Drawing from years of ministry and marital counseling, Steve recalled cases where couples in mixed marriages (such as Baptist and Catholic, Methodist and Lutheran, or Pentecostal) sought help. Their differing faiths often destroyed their unity. Disagreements frequently arose over which church to attend. A major point of conflict occurred when having children, particularly regarding baptism and dedication. For example, a Catholic wife might want the child christened and baptized according to Catholic practice, while a Baptist or Methodist husband preferred simple dedication without those rituals. He also noted that when a Catholic marries a non-Catholic, they must undergo studies aimed at converting the non-Catholic, which can create further disarray if unsuccessful.

Steve explained that these issues illustrate why the Apostle Paul warns against being unequally yoked. Couples need to share the same faith, including belief in God, reconciliation through Jesus, and baptism for the remission of sins to enter Christ’s church. As disciples baptized into Christ, He becomes their high priest who intercedes before God. Unity in faith is essential.

Steve continued reading from Ephesians 5 (New International Version), beginning with mutual submission out of reverence for Christ. He read the instructions for wives to submit to their husbands as to the Lord, since the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is head of the church. He reserved further commentary on leadership for later but read the instructions for husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church, giving Himself up for her to make her holy through the washing with water through the word. Husbands should love their wives as their own bodies, and the passage concludes with the profound mystery of a man leaving his parents to be united to his wife as one flesh, which refers to Christ and the church. Each man must love his wife as himself, and the wife must respect her husband. This establishes the husband as the leader and head of the family, requiring unity of faith.

Steve turned to 1 Corinthians chapter 11 to further discuss leadership and headship. He read that the head of every man is Christ, the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. The passage addresses practices of head coverings during prayer and prophesying, explaining the relational order: man is the image and glory of God, woman is the glory of man, and the creation order (woman from man). It notes that in the Lord, neither is independent of the other, as everything comes from God. The text discusses the propriety of head coverings and hair length as symbols. Steve clarified that Paul is not primarily concerned with literal hair length or clothing styles such as pants versus dresses.

Instead, Paul is addressing a chain of command. Steve compared this to military or workplace structures (such as his experience at International Harvester), where respecting the hierarchy of boss, foreman, and worker is essential. The purpose of the chain of command is to provide safety and security. He referenced a seminar concept called the "umbrella of protection," illustrating the divine order: God at the top, then Christ, then the man (husband), then the wife, and then the children. Instructions flow downward through this structure, and following it places individuals under protective authority. He gave the example of a lower-ranking soldier being protected when simply obeying a sergeant, even if questioned by a general. If a general does not like what a lower-ranking soldier is doing, he goes to the sergeant to address it rather than directly confronting the one obeying orders. As long as the person follows the chain of command, he remains safe and protected under the umbrella of authority.

In 1 Corinthians 11, Paul addresses this umbrella of protection rather than literal head coverings or hair. The husband has God and Jesus over him, so his head is covered. He in turn is to cover his wife’s head. The wife’s head covers the children. If the wife steps out from under her husband’s authority and acts against his direction, she uncovers her head, removing the umbrella of protection. God could then question her actions, and she would have no defense if she acted independently.

When the wife uncovers her head, she also covers her husband’s head, embarrassing him and bringing shame upon him. She likewise brings shame upon herself. The same principle applies to children: if they step out from under their parents' control, they uncover themselves and cover their parents' heads. The passage concerns position and authority structure rather than hair length. This divine order is what God intends for families.

Steve acknowledged struggling slightly with his train of thought but returned to Ephesians 5, verse 25. Husbands are commanded to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her to make her holy. This requires the husband to take ownership and recognize responsibilities beyond merely being the head. Being head of the household means he is responsible for everything that occurs in the family. Examples from the world, such as law, show that fathers are held accountable for children’s actions or a wife’s financial decisions.

God designed the father to be responsible for the education, welfare, and well-being of his family. He must teach his children or ensure they are taught properly and keep them in line, making corrections when needed. He bears responsibility for family finances, ensuring sufficient income. Steve referenced the common issue of "too much month at the end of the money," noting the primary responsibility falls on the husband rather than the wife seeking additional work.

A brief interruption occurred when Alexa spoke, but Steve resumed. The husband must ensure the wife does not have to fend for herself and must look after her needs. If she works to help financially, it requires his permission based on their spiritual understanding. He is responsible for raising children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Fathers in Israel were commanded to educate their children in their religion.

When the Israelites crossed the Jordan, they stacked memorial stones as an educational tool. Children would ask their fathers why the stones were there, prompting explanations of God’s deliverance from Egypt and across the Jordan. Similarly, the Jewish Seder meal serves as an educational tool where children ask questions and fathers provide answers about their faith. Christians should likewise educate their children in the faith.

Steve reread the concluding portion of Ephesians 5, emphasizing husbands loving their wives as Christ loved the church—sacrificially, to present her holy and blameless. Husbands should love their wives as their own bodies, since the two become one flesh. This mystery points to Christ and the church. Each husband must love his wife as himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Steve stressed that neither spouse is their own. Wives are not their own, and husbands are not their own either. This is not primarily about sexual relations but about security. Wives are concerned about their security; husbands belong to their wives, who have the right to expect their safety and well-being. Examples include a wife urging her husband to get a physical or to give up a dangerous motorcycle because she needs him present to help raise the family.

Wives often recognize their vital role more clearly; if absent, the family would suffer. This motivates them to maintain their own health through doctor visits and self-care. Steve shared this from personal experience. The principle works both ways. Leadership squarely belongs to the husband as God intends. He must be reasonable, appreciative, treat his wife as the weaker vessel, love her, and look after her. The husband bears responsibility for the family’s well-being, spirituality, and eternal destiny.

Steve announced that the evening lesson would address the meaning of hell. He extended an invitation for anyone needing to respond to God’s call. Jesus came to reconcile humanity to God through His death on the cross. To become His disciple requires baptism into Christ to join His church. The Great Commission commands making disciples and baptizing them. Those with convictions needing repentance were also invited to respond. The service concluded by standing to sing a song of encouragement.