I would like to share with you a sermon from Doug Hamilton, preacher at the Junction City Church of Christ, Junction City, KS.

Hebrews 6:11,12 (NKJV)

And we desire that each one of you show the same diligence to the full assurance of hope until the end, 12 that you do not become sluggish, but imitate those who through faith and patience inherit the promises.

Romans 15:4 (NKJV)

For whatever things were written before were written for our learning, that we through the patience and comfort of the Scriptures might have hope.

Saul and David: Dealing with Turbulent Relationships

By Doug Hamilton, Junction City Church of Christ, Junction City, KS
Doug Hamilton Video link

DH: I don’t know if you noticed this or not, it doesn’t matter who you are, whether you’re baptized or not, what you do for a living, you always run into turbulent people. They are always there. And too many times we let them define us. We should never allow that to happen.

David and Saul had a very turbulent relationship. Saul was the King and David was the up and coming. We’re going to do a summary of their relationship and then we’ll conclude it at the end.

SR: When God chooses Saul to be king he sends Samuel to anoint him, 1 Samuel 10:1. As a sign to Saul that God had chosen him one of the things Samuel prophesies to him is that the Spirit of the Lord would come upon him and he (Saul) would prophesy also. 1 Samuel 10:6.

Saul started out good, but Saul was a difficult man. As a result of his disobedience to God, God vowed to replace him as king. God has Samuel secretly anoint David, while still a youth, well before Saul’s kingdom comes to an end. Saul is king for forty years, this takes place within a few years of the beginning of Saul’s reign. David is old enough to tend sheep and before his encounter with Goliath.

When David is anointed, the Spirit of the Lord comes upon him and the Spirit of the Lord departs from Saul and he is troubled by a distressing spirit from the Lord. 1 Samuel 16:13,14.

David was one of the armor bearers and musicians for Saul prior to his slaying of Goliath

1 Samuel 16:21-23

Then David came to Saul and attended him; and Saul loved him greatly, and he became his armor bearer. 22 Saul sent to Jesse [David’s father], saying, "Let David now stand before me, for he has found favor in my sight." 23 So it came about whenever the evil spirit from God came to Saul, David would take the harp and play it with his hand; and Saul would be refreshed and be well, and the evil spirit would depart from him.

It started out that David was like a coping mechanism for Saul. David would play music for Saul and it would soothe him and the evil spirit would leave him.

After the victory over Goliath, King Saul had David moved into the palace

1 Samuel 18:2,

Saul took him that day and did not let him return to his father’s house.

David became a loyal "Secretary of Defense" for King Saul

1 Samuel 18:5,

So David went out wherever Saul sent him, and prospered; and Saul set him over the men of war. And it was pleasing in the sight of all the people and also in the sight of Saul’s servants.

David was a hero.

David began to outshine King Saul

1 Samuel 18:6,7,

It happened as they were coming, when David returned from killing the Philistine, that the women came out of all the cities of Israel, singing and dancing, to meet King Saul, with tambourines, with joy and with musical instruments. 7 The women sang as they played, and said, "Saul has slain his thousands, And David his ten thousands."

This bothers Saul quite a bit.

1 Samuel 18:14,15,

David was prospering in all his ways for the LORD was with him. 15 When Saul saw that he was prospering greatly, he dreaded him.

1 Samuel 18:16

But all Israel and Judah loved David, and he went out and came in before them.

Saul succumbed to a spirit of jealousy

1 Samuel 18:8,9,

Then Saul became very angry, for this saying displeased him; and he said, "They have ascribed to David ten thousands, but to me they have ascribed thousands. Now what more can he have but the kingdom?" 9 Saul looked at David with suspicion from that day on.

So what do you do when you’re jealous?

Saul tried to kill David with the javelin

1 Samuel 18:10,11,

"…​while David was playing the harp with his hand, as usual; and a spear was in Saul’s hand. 11 Saul hurled the spear for he thought, "I will pin David to the wall." But David escaped from his presence twice.

Saul actually feared David

1 Samuel 18:12,

Now Saul was afraid of David, for the LORD was with him but had departed from Saul.

If you push God too far He will let you indulge,

Romans 1:21-25 (ESV)

For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened. 22 Claiming to be wise, they became fools, 23 and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man and birds and animals and creeping things.

24 Therefore God gave them up [over NASB] in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves, 25 because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen.

Because of Saul’s jealousy, David is no longer a help to him, but someone he fears.

1 Samuel 18:29

"…​then Saul was even more afraid of David. Thus Saul was David’s enemy continually."

Saul decided to keep his "enemy" close. Hence he tried to marry him into the family

1 Samuel 18:17,

Then Saul said to David, "Here is my older daughter Merab; I will give her to you as a wife, only be a valiant man for me and fight the LORD’S battles." For Saul thought, "My hand shall not be against him, but let the hand of the Philistines be against him."

1 Samuel 18:20,21,

Now Michal, Saul’s daughter, loved David. When they told Saul, the thing was agreeable to him. 21 Saul thought, "I will give her to him that she may become a snare to him, and that the hand of the Philistines may be against him." Therefore Saul said to David, "For a second time you may be my son-in-law today."

Saul promised his son Jonathan that he would not try to kill David anymore

1 Samuel 19:6,7,

Saul listened to the voice of Jonathan, and Saul vowed, "As the LORD lives, he shall not be put to death." 7 Then Jonathan called David, and Jonathan told him all these words. And Jonathan brought David to Saul, and he was in his presence as formerly.

Jonathan mediates on behalf of David and Saul relents…​ temporarily

David was successful again in battle Saul became jealous and tried to kill David again

1 Samuel 19:10,

Saul tried to pin David to the wall with the spear, but he slipped away out of Saul’s presence, so that he stuck the spear into the wall. And David fled and escaped that night.

David continues to be successful and Saul’s jealousy rears up again and he tries to kill David. David fled and escaped that night.

Saul stepped up the plans, but David escaped

1 Samuel 19:11,

"Then Saul sent messengers to David’s house to watch him, in order to put him to death in the morning…​"

1 Samuel 19:18,

"Now David fled and escaped and came to Samuel at Ramah, and told him all that Saul had done to him…​"

David went into hiding with a group of renegades

1 Samuel 22:1,2,

So David departed from there and escaped to the cave of Adullam; and when his brothers and all his father’s household heard of it, they went down there to him. 2 Everyone who was in distress, and everyone who was in debt, and everyone who was discontented gathered to him; and he became captain over them. Now there were about four hundred men with him.

Saul even killed the priests that aided David in his flight

1 Samuel 22:19,20,

And he struck Nob the city of the priests with the edge of the sword, both men and women, children and infants; also oxen, donkeys, and sheep he struck with the edge of the sword. 20 But one son of Ahimelech the son of Ahitub, named Abiathar, escaped and fled after David.

David had an opportunity to kill Saul, but restrained himself

1 Samuel 24:1-7,

Now when Saul returned from pursuing the Philistines, he was told, saying, "Behold, David is in the wilderness of Engedi." 2 Then Saul took three thousand chosen men from all Israel and went to seek David and his men in front of the Rocks of the Wild Goats. 3 He came to the sheepfolds on the way, where there was a cave; and Saul went in to relieve himself. Now David and his men were sitting in the inner recesses of the cave. 4 The men of David said to him, "Behold, this is the day of which the LORD said to you, 'Behold; I am about to give your enemy into your hand, and you shall do to him as it seems good to you.' " Then David arose and cut off the edge of Saul’s robe secretly. 5 It came about afterward that David’s conscience bothered him because he had cut off the edge of Saul’s robe. 6 So he said to his men, "Far be it from me because of the LORD that I should do this thing to my lord, the LORD’S anointed, to stretch out my hand against him, since he is the LORD’S anointed." 7 David persuaded his men with these words and did not allow them to rise up against Saul. And Saul arose, left the cave, and went on his way.

Saul confirmed that David would eventually be King David

1 Samuel 24:20,

"Now, behold, I know that you will surely be king, and that the kingdom of Israel will be established in your hand."

Saul was once again trying to kill David

1 Samuel 26:2,

So Saul arose and went down to the wilderness of Ziph, having with him three thousand chosen men of Israel, to search for David in the wilderness of Ziph.

David had another opportunity to kill Saul, but once again did not

But he held principle above emotion. That’s what we must do as Christians. We are never driven by our emotion, because emotions go up and down, left and right. Most of the violent crimes that are committed are rooted in a spur of the moment emotion. We have to fight the emotion…​ We think good before we feel good. That’s how God designed us to not destroy ourselves.

1 Samuel 26:11,12,

"The LORD forbid that I should stretch out my hand against the LORD’S anointed; but now please take the spear that is at his head and the jug of water, and let us go." 12 So David took the spear and the jug of water from beside Saul’s head, and they went away, but no one saw or knew it, nor did any awake, for they were all asleep, because a sound sleep from the LORD had fallen on them.

Saul pledged again not to attempt assassination of David

1 Samuel 26:21-25,

Then Saul said, "I have sinned. Return, my son David, for I will not harm you again because my life was precious in your sight this day. Behold, I have played the fool and have committed a serious error." 22 David replied, "Behold the spear of the king! Now let one of the young men come over and take it. 23 "The LORD will repay each man for his righteousness and his faithfulness; for the LORD delivered you into my hand today, but I refused to stretch out my hand against the LORD’S anointed. 24 "Now behold, as your life was highly valued in my sight this day, so may my life be highly valued in the sight of the LORD, and may He deliver me from all distress." 25 Then Saul said to David, "Blessed are you, my son David; you will both accomplish much and surely prevail." So David went on his way, and Saul returned to his place.

So they have a very turbulent relationship.

Saul killed by the Philistines

1 Samuel 31:1-4,

Now the Philistines were fighting against Israel, and the men of Israel fled from before the Philistines and fell slain on Mount Gilboa. 2 The Philistines overtook Saul and his sons; and the Philistines killed Jonathan and Abinadab and Malchi-shua the sons of Saul. 3 The battle went heavily against Saul, and the archers hit him; and he was badly wounded by the archers. 4 Then Saul said to his armor bearer, "Draw your sword and pierce me through with it, otherwise these uncircumcised will come and pierce me through and make sport of me." But his armor bearer would not, for he was greatly afraid. So Saul took his sword and fell on it.

David mourned the death of Saul

2 Samuel 1:11-12,

Then David took hold of his clothes and tore them, and so also did all the men who were with him. 12 They mourned and wept and fasted until evening for Saul and his son Jonathan and for the people of the LORD and the house of Israel, because they had fallen by the sword.

We should never rejoice at the ending of a human life.

The Saul/David Relationship is symbolic of Christian-coping with turbulent relationships

Life is filled with many turbulent relationships. Saul most-definitely qualifies as a turbulent and caustic individual in the life of David.

Just because one becomes a Christian, it does not mean all those difficult people will go away. It also does not mean those relationships will be magically better, but more often than not, more difficult [you always have to work on those kind of relationships]. Our call as a Christian is to maintain our integrity through the examples set forth in the New Testament.

We have integrity, we follow what Jesus says,

Matthew 5:43-45,

"You have heard that it was said, 'YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR and hate your enemy.' 44 "But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.

Luke 6:29,

"Whoever hits you on the cheek, offer him the other also; and whoever takes away your coat, do not withhold your shirt from him either.

Do you realize there would be 50% fewer movies if vengeance and this attitude were excluded by law from Hollywood. There was even an entire TV series entitled: Revenge. If God were making the movie…​ we have the script here…​ the script says, we’re not a vengeful people.

Romans 12:19-21 (Proverbs 25:21,22),

Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, "VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY," says the Lord. 20 "BUT IF YOUR ENEMY IS HUNGRY, FEED HIM, AND IF HE IS THIRSTY, GIVE HIM A DRINK; FOR IN SO DOING YOU WILL HEAP BURNING COALS ON HIS HEAD." 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

That’s the risk we have in a turbulent relationship. Somebody is ALWAYS evangelizing somebody ELSE. People of the world of a turbulent nature are trying to convert you to a child of the devil.

SR: What’s Jesus attitude? In the very same verse (and in the crucifixion context) as they are dividing up his clothes He says,

Luke 23:34,

But Jesus was saying, "Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing." And they cast lots, dividing up His garments among themselves.

When Judas had betrayed him and Peter drew his sword to protect him, Jesus tells Peter to put away his sword and then says,

Matthew 26:53,54 (NASB)

Or do you think that I cannot appeal to My Father, and He will at once put at My disposal more than twelve legions of angels?

A legion is 6,000 troops, 12 legions would be 72,000 angels.
He continues…​

54 How then will the Scriptures be fulfilled, which say that it must happen this way?”

Acts 7:59,60,

They went on stoning Stephen as he called on the Lord and said, "Lord Jesus, receive my spirit!" 60 Then falling on his knees, he cried out with a loud voice, "Lord, do not hold this sin against them!" Having said this, he fell asleep.

SR: With the examples of David, Jesus, & Stephen, how is it that God would have us behave in a turbulent relationship?